There I was, asleep in my room. It was around 0200 in the morning. The room was dark when I woke up to use the restroom. I rolled over and up on the wide screen TV was the damn freaky Elf on a Shelf, with a penlight spotlight on him, looking down at me! The tint light just illuminated his face. It freaked me out. My sons know that I think that this invention is creepy. So they put him on top the tv as I slept and taped a penlight to the back of the television. When I woke up..... BAM!! I could see his creepy shadow. I slept on the sofa. But there he is. That stupid elf.


I guess I should be grateful that they didn't put a little knife in his hand and place him on my water glass right next to the bed. You see, that would have been the way to go. I know I would have done that. Maybe I am a bit more twisted than my sons?

This morning @ 0730, I notice that The Holy Pinnochio has replaced the Baby Jesus. I had no clue that Pinnochio was a religious little boy. I found Baby Jesus on top of the kleenex tissue box in the back bathroom. I ascertain that Baby Jesus had been kidnapped after the elf scare @ 0200.


Is everyone having a wonderful vacation/holiday so far? I hope so? Hugs to all of you. It is 0830 and I am off to make some bread.

Or should I write Chickenshit Loser? Well, they both fit, now don't they? This is an open letter and a blog vent.

Dear Asshole,

Stealing from me behind my back is pretty low. I have taken great pains to not order things on line in order to protect my identity. But, you got me at a gas station with a magnetic reader and from there, your accomplice emailed you the information and you made a card. GOOD JOB!! Then you went on a spending spree in Texas at a few Walmarts, Gas Stations and hotels. You cleaned me out! You must be so proud! You see, I work hard for my money. Obviously, you don't. You are a big bitch behind a keyboard taking things you didn't even earn. God will get you for your lack of a good and respectful conscious. I would have felt better if you had been a burglar and taken my things that way. At least you would have shown me that you have some balls! OR better yet, maybe a thief breaking into my apartment and facing the Business End of two Glock 17's or maybe my shotgun. That way I would have been able to protect what is mine.

But no, you had to be the lowest form of slime. You don't even face the person you are stealing from. I don't have to hope that you rot in hell...because I know that you will. Your karma is going to get you ten fold. That will be my reward. May you be crossing a street as you carry your bags full of cheap Walmart crap and get hit by a bus that drags your pathetic ass a few blocks. Then after that, hopefully several cars do the rest.

I know that there are people in this world like you. I have worked around them all of my career. They didn't get to me then and you won't get to me now. I am over you. Like I have written above....you are one low life chickenshit loser. I think that about sums it up. You are chicken because you can't face the people you steal from. If you did, you would probably get your little ass beat down or blown to pieces. Trust me, I would have been just the woman to blow your damn head off if you had faced me.

Did you anger me? Yes. Did you make me sad? Yes. Did you make me cry? Again, yes. But all of the above faded.
Is my Christmas ruined? No. I just thank the good lord that I gave to the children's and animal shelters before you cleaned me out.
I may not have anything for my oldest son, but my son is good, kind, loving and giving. My son will understand. He is the type of person that you will never be. I will end this blog on a happy note. Why? Because I am not one to dwell on poison and let it ruin the good person that I am. My Christmas will be spent with the two men who love me. My sons. Their girlfriends, whom I adore...and the father of my sons. That is my Christmas. Love and family.

My best friend is resting well. It was a busy day for both of us. I did the laundry and cleaned a bit. Gave the kids a bath and just let her do nothing but lift the television controller. A was getting restless, so she called her Mom to watch the kids and I took her out to dinner. She had a blast! We laughed and caught up with everything. We even did a bit of flirting with the Italian waiter. It has been a while since she actually went out sans kids. A's hubby is in Afghanistan and will be there until March. So she stays close to home. I made her go to bed early, which she was glad to do. I just put her two little ones to bed and now I am sitting here with her devil cat...lol. I blogged about Simon before. That cat wakes me up just by staring at me with his glowing green eyes....EEEEKKKK!!

You know, I keep telling myself that one of these days I will take a vacation in which I am not cleaning, taking care of others or driving from one house to another visiting people. I guess someone needs to force me into a real vacation...or at least show me what a real vacation is....lol.

I am off to bed. I remembered that her wee ones are used to getting up at 0500.
Good Night all!

btw, I will get to the blogs I love to read as soon as I can.
xoxoxox

The Phantom Baby Jesus Kidnapper has done it again! Baby Jesus was replaced with a Porcelain Basset Hound Doggy. I am sure that Happyhumper will be pleased to see that...lol. The kidnapping happened between the hours (of when I went to sleep) 0330 and 0700. Not one sound was made. A search party will be assembled as soon as possible. The last time I went looking for Baby Jesus, I found him on top of the washing machine in the garage.



I don't have time to look for him now. It is time to hit the road and go and pick up my best friend from the hospital. Lil Drake won't be going home just yet. His skin still looks a bit yellow, which is normal for being born a bit too early. But it's all good. He is here.

My cookie baking duties will have to be cut short.
I am on the road again! Everybody sing it with me.............lalalalalalal!
Don't worry Baby Jesus, I'm coming back for you.

MrCover, Guitartxn and Texangel....
The Lego Crew heard that The Elf on the Shelf was being a bad bad elf. Therefore they had to tie him up.
Your Elf on the Shelf is no match for the Lego Super Heroes!
Take that!!!



Bring it on!!!

A Bear Vault.



The oldest son is planning another trek through the wilderness. One of his Christmas wishes is for Santa to bring him a Bear Vault for his food. When he hikes or does his rock climbing, he hangs his food in a tree. This time he plans on going deep into the wilderness and needs the vault for safety purposes.

Just knowing he wants to go further into the wilderness drives me crazy! A Bear Vault? Just the dang name gives me the willies. He takes all of necessary precautions, so why am I worried? Because I am a Mommy. The good things is, this time his girlfriend will be going with him. I said "awesome, you don't need to outrun the bear, just the other hikers you are with" lol.....yes, I said that in front of her...tee hee hee.

There we were, my sons and I decorating the tree. We were feeling nostalgic. It was a blissful moment. As we were putting the ornaments on the tree;
I said to my oldest: "J? Make sure you put something in the empty holes"
J. responded with: "That's what she said"
I laughed so hard, we all cried with laughter. Aaaahhhhh sons, nothing like a magical nostalgic moment interrupted with a sexual joke.

The tree is up. MMmmmmmmmmmmm loving the scent of the pine. I always put the lights on....it is my thing...lol. When I moved out of the house at the age of 18, I decorated my tree with lights, tinsel, colorful matching bulbs, my own handmade ornaments, and ornaments that my mom in law would give me. For 4 years, the tree had those very decorations on them. After the boys came along, more meaningful decorations were added, the store bought colorful matching bulbs began to fade away.

When you have kids, they make things for the tree. Cute wonderful and thoughtful things. Made with love and laughter. As my sons grew, we would sit down every year after Thanksgiving and make bulbs of our own. With a little glitter, glue, clear bulbs or colorful bulbs...you can create magic. And that magic is displayed every year. As funny as they look to others and as faded or old as they may be, they go on the tree. Why? Because they were made with the little hands that I gave birth to.

The ribbons and matching bulbs are no more. Ever since the boys came long, the tree has been adorned with memories of children growing, family love, hours of laughter sitting around the table creating grins. There isn't one thing on the tree that matches. Every ornament is different and each one has a thought, a smile, a gift, and lots of love behind it. When my mom in law and my Dad passed away, the decorations they had as children were added to our lovely tree. Generations of love combined over the years on one beautiful tree.
There isn't any garland, just a light touch of tinsel. Which is my other thing. I know the perfect amount. It isn't just a Christmas Tree. It's a family tree....a loving memory tree from past and present family members.

Last night after I left the birth of my God Son, I headed to Orange County and helped the ex (father of my sons) decorate the house a bit. I set up the beautiful porcelain manger scene that my mom in law gave to me 35 years ago. I went to bed and when I woke up, the Phantom Atheist struck again!
***If you do not know the story behind this picture, read the 2nd page, 8 blog entries down.

As you can see, Frosty the Snowman made his way into the manger.



As soon as I locate the kidnapped Baby Jesus, I will put him back. More than likely Baby Jesus is in the fridge. It will be like an Easter Egg Hunt....lol

While having lunch in Port Hueneme, the 'check engine oil level' light came on. So I pulled into a shopping center, popped the hood and checked the oil level. It was low. Of course I purchased oil. I popped the hood again, but couldn't unscrew the oil cap. I mean, that sucker was screwed on TIGHT! So, I decided to ask a guy who was passing by. He was about my age...give or take a few years. There I was, hood up....he was approaching me;
Me: Sir, could you? (he interrupts me and snaps)
Rude man: NO, I don't have jumper cables and NO I don't want to check your hoses!
Me: (I looked at him and said with sarcasm) Well, thank you! But I wasn't going to ask you to do any of that.
Rude man: What were you going to ask me?
Me: If you would please unscrew the oil cap, it is on way too tight.
Rude man: NO. (then he walks away)
That was an odd occurrence and it left me with a feeling of disappointment and a wee bit of sadness. Less than a minute of someones time? Really?

But I didn't stay sad for long. What interrupted the plans that I had in Los Angeles was my best friend going into labour and giving birth to a beautiful baby boy. It was a rough birth for baby and Mommy, but both are doing fine. They named him Drake. Yes, like the coffee cake...lol. And that is what I blurted out when they told me. "Drake? Like the coffee cake"? I know A. wanted to slap me, but thank god she was drugged up, tired and soar from the out of the blue c-section. Drake came 45 days early.

I am now at my sons house. I hope everyone had a good day and evening. Reading of the blogs will have to wait. It was exhausting waiting for A. to give birth...lol

We will see what we see when we see it.







That is all! I am back on the road and headed for my next destination.