tight_wet_lips
Gift PremiumOdd yet delightfully intriguing. Morbid yet very very sweet. Sarcasm is part of who I am.....deal with it.
- 104 years old
- Female
- Joined 20 years ago
- 227,165 views
tight_wet_lips's Blog
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Sunday, December 8, 2013, 6:16:59 AM- Adventures in Sex. | ||||||
I hope you giggles. The last one gets me every time. Yes, I know. I'm sick and twisted. It's all a part of my charm. *snickers* | ||||||
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Saturday, December 7, 2013, 6:28:45 AM- Suddenly, they are there. | ||||||
Sometimes the best feelings in our lives are when warm, loving and soft memories catch up with us. Memories once tucked away in the recesses of your mind, suddenly come flooding forward. There are instant smiles. Feelings of spontaneous warmth. A few quirky and silly giggles and your heart skips a beat. It can happen in a moment and can stop you in your tracks. The time machine in your mind suddenly looks back. There you are, in that moment, back in time. Just a thought commanding your mind without reason or rhyme. We all know those warm feelings of memories with someone who was or is special enough to catch up with us in thought. Yes, sometimes those are the best moments in our lives. Our minds do not need to be prompted to remember. At times the hearts do it for us. Sweet reflections of the heart are sincere and never xxxxxx. | ||||||
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Friday, December 6, 2013, 8:36:33 PM- And the fights begin! | ||||||
It is that time of year in which shoppers try to out maneuver one another for a parking spot at the mall. It is a dog eat dog world and it is every man and/or woman for themselves. There will be accidents, fights, vengeful acts on cars from those who are angry and calls for security or the police. Aaaaaaaah, the Christmas spirit has begun! I just got back from lunch. During that time, I witnessed the first of what will probably be many parking lot altercations during the holiday season. It warmed my heart to see such love. A man was waiting for a spot. His blinker was on, indicating his intentions. The car backed out and a woman coming from the other direction, came right up behind the car that was pulling out and slipped right into the spot. Man: *he puts his car in park and gets out* You fucking cunt, I had my god damn fucking blinker on and was waiting, fuck you, you rude fucking bitch. Woman: *she gets out, hand up and giving the neck bob* Like I give a fucking shit you piece of shit. Don't call me a cunt you fucking pussy, fuck you asshole. Drinking hot chocolate on a chilly day in an open market: Relaxing. Finding the perfect winter gloves for my sons girl friend: Awesome! Watching two morons go at it over a piece of concrete: Priceless | ||||||
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Friday, December 6, 2013, 7:15:55 AM- Adventures in Sex. | ||||||
A wise choice for both involved! Can I get a 'woot woot!! | ||||||
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Thursday, December 5, 2013, 7:12:14 PM- That's it, spend thousands of $$$ to not pay a $56 fine. | ||||||
Woman drives 'Liberty Van' 5,000 miles to fight ticket, wins. By Mike Krumboltz, Yahoo News December 4, 2013 9:42 AM A 56-year-old grandmother living on welfare and social security, drove from Kentucky to New Jersey several times in order to fight a $56 traffic ticket over her so-called "Liberty Van." Good news for the woman: She won. Lynda Farley, whose van is emblazoned with flags, flowers, bumper stickers and political signs that say things like "Outdoor smoke bans are idiotic" and "Vote Marxists Out," was cited in New Jersey in September 2012 for driving a vehicle with an obstructed view. Specifically, the trooper told her the string of flowers bordering the front windshield of her 2004 Nissan Quest minivan obstructed her view of the road. On Wednesday, Judge Ann Bartlett overturned the ticket, despite expressing concern about the vehicle's safety. "Ms. Farley, I wouldn't want my grandchildren walking behind your car," This isn't the first time Farley has fought for her right to drive what looks like a giant billboard. Her attorney, Randolph Norris, told the Express-Times. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, let's break this down. **She spent thousands of dollars in gas during several drives from Kentucky to New Jersey. **Money for hotels. **A few hundred dollars in tolls. **Probably a couple thousand for the attorney. **Cost of oil and maintenance during the miles she drives to fight said ticket Hmmmmmmm? I wonder what she could have paid for with the money she wasted. Something she needed, since she is living on a budget. And one more thing? I wonder if anyone in her circle of family and friends, have ever pointed out or mentioned to her, that the 'Liberty Van' adorned with American Pride is not American at all? I do give her credit for fighting the good fight, but this is beyond ridiculous. | ||||||
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Thursday, December 5, 2013, 5:20:49 AM- Sister M. has gone on a trip to Florida | ||||||
She let me know in a 4 page text message. A looooooooooong text message in which each page was full. She has one of those International phones, so it can send from anywhere. Her daughter gave it to her when my niece took a job overseas. Anyhoo, It was the same message over and over again. I won't spill the entire messages, so I will give you a small bit. She kept writing: Sister M: I am on a plane heading to Florida, I am so scared. Please pray for me. These will be the worst hours of my life. Sister M: I am terrified. I can't stop shaking. Please pray for me. Sister M: Oh god! Why am I doing this!? Pray for me. So, me....being me. I tired of her whining. But at the same time, wanted to ....you know.....be funny. So I sent a message. Me: M? are you in the air using your electronic device? Sister M: Yes. Me: You can't do that, it interrupts the planes electronics. You're going down!!! pause pause pause pause pause pause pause....................... Sister M: I hate you. *snickers and giggle snorts* | ||||||
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Wednesday, December 4, 2013, 8:46:43 PM- When was the last time I told you................................ | ||||||
That all of you are whacked out of your heads, perverted, beyond bizarre, morbid, twisted, utterly hilarious and slightly off kilter? I can accept that....lol. In between all of the above actions and personalities, all of you are also caring, emotionally beautiful, thoughtful, kind and giving, talented and smart. I can also accept that. So here's to the members of NN. | ||||||
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Wednesday, December 4, 2013, 6:22:02 AM- And the silly assumptions on being single continue....lol | ||||||
From time to time, I get asked a slew of ignorant questions or comments that floor me. It is a fact of life. I deal with them in one of the following or combination of ways: Humour Tact Decorum Sarcasm Intelligence Or I walk away shaking my head. Today, I was told to stop being so stubborn and find a man because looking for Mr. Right isn't working for me. I told them first off "Who's looking?" If he wants me, he will find me. I went on to say that I don't believe in Mr. Right, but I do believe in Mr. Right For Me. For me? I don't need perfection in a man and might I add, I do not want it. But I do want perfect for me. To those who have found the one. You found them, not because they were Mr or Miss Right. You have them because they are 'Right' for you. Before you met, they were probably 'Wrong' for others. | ||||||
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Tuesday, December 3, 2013, 8:50:05 PM- Oh no!! I used chop sticks! | ||||||
What does a person do when we run out of forks during the lunch time meeting? They improvise! I have back up utensils in my desk. Yes, they are chopsticks, but they do work. Someone mentioned that I looked funny eating my spaghetti with them. Why would that look funny? Is there a law against eating food other than Asian food with chopsticks? Was I expected to use my fingers? Was I expected to just give up and say there was no use, I can't eat? People are funny. Don't-cha think? As my wise Dad used to say "Improvise, Adapt and Overcome" | ||||||
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Tuesday, December 3, 2013, 5:45:28 AM- Interviews *continued* | ||||||
I have a few interviews coming up. When they are scheduled, I remind myself that what happens, happens. I will be sent where I am meant to be. I take with me the mistakes I have made in the past, but never hold onto them or dwell on them. Here are two more interviews in which I knew right away, that I did not get the job. 2009: I was being interviewed for an Intel position for the ***. As I waited for the interviewers, their male assistant told me that he would be sitting in the room taking notes. The interviewers arrived. Three uniformed men walked in. Three freaking gorgeous, broad shouldered, healthy, gruff men. I knew that I licked my lips........I just know it! Anyhoo, I stared at them and I mean I stared a lot! The officer to my right asked me a question, but I missed it because I couldn't take my eyes off of the officer in front of me. I was doomed when he knocked on the table and I replied with "What?" I looked over at the male assistant. He was shaking is head. 2010: A phone interview with a Crisis Response Unit. The interview was going well. Very well. So well, they told me that I had experience and knowledge in areas that no one else had education in. Then it happened. One last question. I was feeling good! The last question was: "How experienced are you at surveying documents for errors? This is a fast paced position and you have to survey words rather quickly" They already knew of my speed reading skills, but I had to give them an example of such skills. So I told them that the HR employee in charge of the the departments job announcements needed to go back to school because I spotted 4 misspelled words. Then I giggled. No one laughed when the lead interviewer said "That would be me" I didn't get the job. I suspect because of a disease. The foot in mouth disease. The lessons learned here are: 1. When good looking interviewers are involved, pretend that I am a lesbian. 2. Wear comfy shoes just in case I have to put my foot in my mouth. | ||||||
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