tight_wet_lips
Gift PremiumOdd yet delightfully intriguing. Morbid yet very very sweet. Sarcasm is part of who I am.....deal with it.
- 104 years old
- Female
- Joined 20 years ago
- 227,164 views
tight_wet_lips's Blog
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Wednesday, November 7, 2012, 3:05:29 AM- Not a good topic over lunch............ lol.... | ||||||
I was eating lunch and was asked by one of the employees if he could join me. Normally I like sitting and reading a book or watching others as they sit and talk, but I said yes anyway. He sat down and we proceeded to chat about the area, the election and the weather. I was eating fish tacos and salsa w/chips. I offered Tim some of my chips and salsa. Big mistake! If had know the what lie ahead for me in the way of disgust, I wouldn't have asked. But oh well, hind sight is 20/20. He said he can't eat chips because they don't agree with him. He said his bowels get obstructed and is unable to go to the restroom for several days. When he mentioned the word "enema", I popped up and said "ok, I am a sick and twisted person, but even I know when to keep things to myself" He was hurt over what I said and even looked sad that I didn't want to listen. After a few moments of silence he apologized. So we moved on to other things. When lunch was over and it was time to go back, he did it..............lordy he did it! He asked if I was seeing anyone. I think I broke the sound barrier when I said...."YES, YES....LONG TIME! I didn't care how freaking good looking this man was....there was no way I was telling him that I am available! I can talk about anything and usually do. And I have seen some pretty sick shit in time, but get to know someone before you do open you mouth. There are just somethings you don't tell strangers...you know? Other topics off limits with strangers is a womans cycle.......lol. | ||||||
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Tuesday, November 6, 2012, 2:42:58 AM- Mens Health Magazine..... another unscientific theory | ||||||
A story in Mens Health Magazine states that these foods will end bad moods. Mussels....Swiss Chard....Blue Potatoes....Grass Fed Beef....Dark Chocolate....Asparagus....Greek Yogurt....Honey....Cherry Tomatoes....Coconut....Eggs Who in the hell comes up with these things and how many people are testing this theory? Have you ever eaten a tomatoe or swiss chard and thought "Weeeeeeeee I feel great!!" I'll tell you SOME of the things that put me into a good mood and it has been proven. A great freaking orgasm, a lovely pair of shoes and an out of the blue naughty text, cheaper gas prices, good wine, the sun, moon, a great beach, the right bikini and pair of jeans. Not necessarily in that order. Does a tomatoe put you in a good mood? | ||||||
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Tuesday, November 6, 2012, 1:25:08 AM- Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby was a man? | ||||||
Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and sell it. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice, expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm. A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice, expensive present, and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds. A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the "effort" the more he loves you. Return this love by buying him a nice, expensive present and cooking him a nice meal. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do you think Dear Mr. Abby will catch on? | ||||||
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Monday, November 5, 2012, 8:47:02 PM- The last week to make up the Sexual Harassment Training. | ||||||
Last Week! This mornings class was filled with grumps. The last of the hold outs. The ones who aren't happy no matter how easy they have it. The only way this class would have been happy was if the men were getting their dicks sucked and if the women were getting fingered as they get free manis and pedis. A few of the women looked as if they needed to get laid. *oops* is that a sexual harassment comment? My bad? I would have offered to show them my boobs if that would have eased their pain, but they would probably complain that the lighting wasn't bright enough or my bra was the wrong color......lol. Negativity is not a part of my vocabulary. But it is over and I look forward to the next batch of training. Onward HO!! Ho? Sexual harassment? | ||||||
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Monday, November 5, 2012, 3:14:49 PM- Gerard Butler again? | ||||||
The man is good looking but in my dreams again? This makes about 3 times now. Why doesn't he just move in? Why can't I have dreams about Daniel Craig? Javier Bardeem? Daniel Watanabe? Wet dreams are nice, but I want to mix it up a bit on who is in them. Someone send me a different man. I'd appreciate it! Just let me know who you are sending so I can prepare. | ||||||
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Monday, November 5, 2012, 4:09:14 AM- This is kind of like me...... | ||||||
Ok ok ok.......it's fully me. I have a feeling most of you are like it too. Admit it! | ||||||
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Sunday, November 4, 2012, 9:44:20 PM- The Sexual Peak Myth | ||||||
Many times I have made my opinion clear on this. The myth is that men and women hit their sexual peaks at different ages. I have yet to find any scientific or medical support for this theory or belief. Sadly it has become common knowledge and engrained in our society. Men reach the peak between 18 - 22 yrs and women 38 and above. Who thought of these numbers? Why would anyone believe this without facts? The age peak statement never sat well with me. It has locked itself into our culture to the point that most believe it is true without any proof. Your intimacy level is not controlled by your age but your willingness and your lust and desires. To me? Young or Mature if you want to fuck....just fuck. I have had the same extreme desire for orgasms since I was 17. There isn't a change. Should we be pidgeon holed because of a myth? Does the "Sexual Peak myth" guide your sexual behaviors? Does it control when you should stop fucking? Animalistic sexual freedom (to me) is not an age issue but a "need" or "want" issue. I for one have never been guided by a "myth" Thoughts? | ||||||
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Sunday, November 4, 2012, 1:15:36 PM- Things to do when you can't sleep...... | ||||||
*Re-name everyone in your cell phone. *Arrange the clothes in your closet according to how long you have had them. *Go back to the closet and fix the clothes according to color scheme. *Straighten up the cans in the kitchen cupboard as if you are the guy in the movie "Sleeping With The Enemy. *Read the junk mail as if it is important. *Time a spider on how long it takes it to crawl across the window. I can't remember the last time I had insomnia. I'm doing pretty good by fighting the urge to ring my sister. It's 0500.......I think I'll go try again. *crosses fingers* | ||||||
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Sunday, November 4, 2012, 4:53:18 AM- This is the best news!! | ||||||
As a firm proponent for animal adoptions from shelters, this is the best news. Hopefully other counties and states will follow suit. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Los Angeles City Council approves ban on puppy mills [Source] msnNOW.com; 24 hrs ago All those "ban puppy mills" bumper stickers have paid off in Los Angeles, which will become America’s largest city to ban the sale of commercially bred puppies in pet stores. The ordinance, passed by the LA City Council on Thursday in a landslide (though it somehow still got two "no" votes), means that all dogs, cats and bunnies sold in stores will have to come from city shelters or rescue groups, or the pet store risks a fine of up to $1,000. But don’t worry — you’ll still be able to spring for that adorable, purebred Cavalier King Charles Spaniel you’ve been dreaming about; hobby breeders will still be allowed to hawk their responsibly-bred pups. | ||||||
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Sunday, November 4, 2012, 2:00:25 AM- I do believe and accept that ...... | ||||||
Sometimes good things fall apart, So better things can fall together. Just give it time to see it. | ||||||
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