Has it been since May that I last blogged? WOW! Time does fly. There has been so much going on and until just recently in the last 2 weeks, I have been acclimating back to NN for some fun. I am not able to play for long periods of time, but the few minutes I am here, I do enjoy myself. I still have hundreds and hundreds of messages to answer........someone do it for me...

After a hibernation period, my pics are back up. NN was wonderful and I appreciate his kindness and understanding.

So, on to the news.
I was passed up for a promotion. That is perfectly fine because I really wasn't due for one, but I tried anyway. One must always try. I am however applying for another one. I won't know for about 5 months if it goes through. Wish me luck! Since the ordeal with my fellow officer I have been working hard and have been burning candles down to the damn wick! I really do need someone to tell me to stop it...lol

I have moved again. Yes, again. I was only in the apartment for 7 months, but this time the move was needed. There was an emergency with someone I love dearly. My off time is now being a care taker for a friend who has cancer and is having hard time with some diabetic issues. I have my own room and have been adjusting well to not having my own place. He is also making some adjustments to my female things all over the place. This is a temporary situation and will be making my way back to solitary living around November. I didn't get rid of my things. They are in storage. Time will fly, so no worries.

The Veteran that my partner and I assisted during a suicide attempt is now one of my dear friends and has been assisting other Veterans with emotional issues. He is taking the same courses I completed in order to get his license and certifications. It is still and honor to know him and be his friend. His life has meaning and he knows that now.

My boys are doing well and that is all I will write about them. I'm a proud Mommy in every way. They have grown into some wonderful men who drive me nuts and have me wrapped around their fingers. It's all good......I love it!

I am heading out for another Law Enforcement Seminar. They are sending me to Vermont! It's going to be exciting! While I am there my bucket list will have 3 more check marks on them. I will also be continuing my Dads bucket list. When he passed away there were so many things he had still wanted to do. I had planned a few years back to accomplish his bucket list with mine and I have the opportunity to do so.

While in Vermont I will travel to New York and Boston on the two weekends I will have available. YAH ME! Boston and New York and both items that were places that my Pops always wanted to visit. They are on mine as well.

Sunday will be a day of packing. I will probably wait until the last minute.......why?........hell if I know. It's how I roll.

There is so much more to write, but it would be a book if I did.

So, how are all of you?

Back in February there was a situation in which I was faced with holding a suicidal man in my arms and had to keep him awake and alive. He had tried to kill himself over the course of a 4 day period by taking pills and cutting himself. It's a very long story as to how it all came about and how my partner and I were involved. I will write later on how a lonely man thought he had nothing. His story should be told because it's important to spread the word about how our military veterans suffer.

Suffice it to say, he was an officer, a former Iraqi Vet and was new to the job and California. Today, after being in this mans life, he now means a great deal to me. For the months following his attempted suicides, I was in the psych ward with him 3 days a week for follow up visits and to make sure he wasn't alone. We became even better friends and even though he has now moved back home (to another state) we remain in touch. M. is doing much better and has been under the care of a physician since moving.

No one ever goes into a situation thinking of what they will receive after it's all said and done. You do a job, you get a thank you here and there, now and then a few letters of appreciation comes along. But that is not what you expect when you go along your days. I enjoy my career. It's non stop, never dull, I get to meet people, help out, fix problems and work with some of the finest men and women around. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

Now months later, it has all settled down. I never dreamed of what would happen next. My partner and I are being awarded our Departments Award of Valor and Bravery. It still hasn't hit me. It hasn't hit my partner. We sat in silence when we were told. There are no words when someone congratulates us. I called M and told him. He cried for me and I cried for him. He is the brave one. M. continues his treatments and our friendship will remain strong for a long time to come.

Still no words.

On another note, I want to thank Roxanne, Guitar and Tux for letting me cry to them about this. I wrote Rox about 5 long paragraphs venting. That woman is a peach.

Exhausted! My candles have been burning like the dickens.



What happens when you run out of candles with just two ends? You try to find candles that have 4 ends. Does anyone know where I can find them?

There is so much going on at the moment. It began months ago, but I haven't had the time to write about it. I log in every few days or at times up to a week, just to peek in and have a giggle for a few moments. I hope everyone is doing well. There is no time to catch up with any of you.

Toodles! And don't forget to find those 4 ended candles for me.
xoxo

My departure from the blog world is over. I return with a bang!

During my absence I have noticed a trend in how my skin color seems to rattle people. There have been three instances in which the term "you're white" has been the focal point another's utterance to me. I will put them in chronological order. I have noticed this for a few years now. And it doesn't seem to be just me being the subject of it.

1. At the doctor's office during my time with the flu.
The nurse was taking my blood pressure and she said "It's a good thing summer is coming, you're so white and could use some color on your skin.

2. While shopping in San Clemente. I was dressed in a summer dress with roman sandals and was looking at a West Indies dress. The sales lady told me that I was 'too white' to fit the style. I replied with "Excuse me?" So she changed her tone and said "Well, from the way you are dressed you appear to be more of the nautical type. I walked out. She lost a sale or two.

3. Saturday I was out to lunch with the Father of my boys. We were at a Greek Cafe and I was ordering. I mispronounced a few words, but the waitress still understood me. The ex laughed and told me I was so white and it showed. (btw, the ex is white as well) Anyhoo, I had enough at this point and spoke up to him with this reply: *warning, attitude ahead*
"I'm white? I'M WHITE? Of course I'm white. Why the hell would you say that to me? Of course I'm white. I'm not going to hide it. Should I apologize for it? Am I supposed to be ashamed? What the heck is wrong with you? You do know that you're white as well? Right?

He was shocked that I was so forceful with my response. I'm not one to be so disrespectful, but this time it had to be said. Why in the hell is going on out there? Why the White Bashing?

From this day on, if anyone tells me that I'm white....well.......they will be met with a few choice words. There isn't anything wrong with being white. Nothing what so ever.

It can make you physically ill. I want it to pass. A person can do everything right in order to get by, but at times an unexpected financial problem can ruin it all. I pride myself on smiling no matter what is thrown at me. Not this time. This time it has me by the gut.

I am the queen of optimism. I had to take my crown off.

The fun on NN just isn't in the cards for me right now.

Even the strongest of wills cannot overpower the strength of a tear.

Yes people, I cry. After all, I am human.

Due to the Holiday here in the US, we will play Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday

All players will post these names at the bottom of their participant blogs. When anyone views a blog, they know who to view later as the blogs are posted.

I would like to remind all of the players to view the other participants entries.

I look forward to seeing all of them.

guitartxn, Artistic, Shyguy1976, WendySilvia, heydidyagrabmyass, amancalledpony, tickle_me_elmo, redvs4u, thatwilldome, hackelberry77, SunGod_dess, Artistic, boomer177_1 and me...tight_wet_lips

Maybe Will can make it.

The last week or so there has been an influx of calls on Suicide Prevention and Intervention. The group has been busy with calls at all hours of the night. It's a part of the process and when we take a phone home, it has to be answered and we never know how long the call will take. No complaints.

But earlier today someones foot had to be removed from their jaw. We were sitting around the table discussing the calls and one of the officers walks in, sits down, sighs and says:

"All of these calls are killing me"

We all looked at each other with with quizzical emotions, raised our eyebrows and snickered. We then stared at him, tilted our heads and cleared our throats. At the realization of his fopa he uttered the words "Oh shit"

There are teeth marks on his shoes.

It's all good because ...well......hell.......IT'S A NEW YEAR!
And that is the best part of this night.



I'm going back to sleep. When I wake it will be a new year for all of us. Hello and Happy New Year from me....xoxoxx

People in Los Angeles are numb to some of the things around them. I know all about Los Angeles and wasn't shocked. But while in the course I attended at the PD, there were some individuals who could not grasp some of the things or people they saw.

One of the visitors refused to go out to lunch or leave the building because she saw rats wandering about freely in the middle of the day. She also saw a homeless guy just unzip his pants and pee while standing at a red light.

The funny thing is, the Los Angelian's laughed at her and not the homeless guy. They were numb and she was human. But in all reality, what was to be done? Nothing.

I told her that Los Angeles is eclectic and that if she goes out she can see the beauty of what is around her. Even in 3 days, she could see the glorious buildings. Go see historical Union Station and Olvera Street. The Justice Building is one outstanding piece of artistry and worth every second viewing all of the stones.

I even asked her if she wanted to walk around with me, so I could show her some uplifting things. But she wouldn't budge. Oh well. The homeless or rats didn't keep me in. I handed out a few bucks here and there and bought chips and soda for a few homeless. When you see such sights, you are grateful for what you have at home.

Who has been to Los Angeles and know of the weird things seen on the streets? Now this is downtown Los A. Not the Hollywood side....lol