With the recent earthquake in Haiti I have been wondering.
I have been wondering if I have become cold and heartless.
I have found my capacity for compassion has become a limited resource.
I have huge amounts of compassion, time to listen, the strength to shoulder anothers burdens for a time but I fear that I just dont have the compassion for the general population, the ones that I don't know one on one.
I am dead, almost, to world disasters. Is this because I have been over exposed? Or is it a need to try to protect my own?
Last winter I did work with a woman from Haiti and I can't help but think of her and her family. What I have lost is the overwhelming need to rush in and save in some aspect.
I have been struggling, most members of my family are struggling with one issue or another. My friends all seem to have more than is fair on their plates. Is this what is making me dead to what is going on elsewhere in the world. Is there a limit to compassion? Have I reached it?
It is scary to me to to not care anymore on a global basis, perhaps that comes with age. I just seem to be so wrapped up with MY family and friends that there is nothing left for anyone else.
Feeling desensitised,
ju

NN is all about the physical or is it?
I had the audacity to say today that intelligence is a huge turn on for me. It really is articulate conversation, debates, different points of view that stimulate my mind which make me more open to other forms of stimulation. Of course as soon as I said this there were the jokes, some were funny and what made them funny was that they were said tongue in cheek, totally sarcastic, understanding exactly where I was coming from. What wasn't funny were all the umm supposedly intelligent replies that were meant for my eyes only which negated everything I said. There was absolutely NO understanding of where I was coming from. They thought a few trite quotes would be enough to stimulate me. Intelligence to me isn't book smarts, it isn't something that can be learned it is something that is inherant in a person who is resourceful, flexible, determined and open minded among other traits. Intelligence has nothing to do with spouting what you have learned via books and other media, it has everything to to with adapting what you have learned and the ability to not just regurgitate it but to apply your knowledge in any given situation.
What stimulates me and what stimulates you are probably very different after all we are all individuals but what stimulates me is just as valid as what stimulates others and deserves to be treated with the same respect.
Respect is NOT something that is deserved it is something earned.
With that I get off my soap box knowing some will get it and others wont have a clue about what I am talking about.
ju

Strengths and weaknesses I have been aware of them, for well, almost forever. What I have recently discovered is that most of them are in a parallel existance. I know what I can do in several areas of my life and I also know what I can't do so well. The negatives can be made into positives BUT what I haven't figured out how to do is make them work together.
I have plenty of long distance support (family, friends etc) but nothing close by. My trusted person died a few months ago.
I need to figure out how to manage all aspects, to learn how to trust with no long term knowledge.
One of my kids is ready to be independant, the other, I am not sure he will ever be. Their well being is non negotiable. Therein lies my struggle.
Wishing I had answers,
ju

I have been busy and frankly just too tired to think much, But thought I would at least say hi.
So,
HI!!
ju

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrKCS3c8m3U[/url]
I'm thinking Raggy will get a kick out of it
Giggling,
ju

I really knew that when I was putting my son to bed and he
asked me if he was dreaming
Hope you all had a wonderful day too!
ju

9pm Christmas eve.
Kid 1 is on a cleaning binge.
Kid 2 has been puking and is tucked up on the couch.
My day was busier than I anticipated and I am tired.
I just want it to be tomorrow evening now. Presents opened, wrapping paper disposed of, dinner cooked, enjoyed and left overs put away, dishes done and me stretched out happy to have pulled it off yet again and looking forward to an early night.
Once again, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Thank fuck this only comes once a year,
ju

So many of you will be travelling in the next few days.
Because of the difference in time zones, my Christmas eve won't be yours.
Because so many of you mean so much to me for reasons as varied as each one of you are, now is the time to wish you all a very happy and safe holiday season.
Merry Christmas NN, NN-J and support.
Merry Christmas all of my fellow pervs.
Deck the halls with cocks and pussies fa la lala la la la la la!
ju

This isn't the blog you were expecting.
This is the blog I have to write. You have always been someone very special to me. You have made me laugh, you still have my fave all time pic on NN. You and I have shared our ups and downs for many years. I have missed you more than you may ever know.
I tried to stalk you, you could have made it easier for me.
I am going to look like hell tomorrow with the tears I have shed and my NN hoodie has a stiff sleeve from me wiping my nose on it
BUT
I am thrilled to have you back, I just wish you never had to go.
Tearing, snotting and sending the very best to someone I care about deeply,
ju

is a wonderful thing until it fails. None of it works for very long if you don't have power.
It may not be common in many places but there are enough remote areas here where you just cannot rely on the power and therefore the technology.
Really, could you survive without it?
Knowing I could in summer, not so sure in winter.
ju