...more than I have words for. You made my days better, just by being there. This void without you is unbearable, the silence is deafening. I miss the random messages, the check-ins. I miss it all! I'm trying to be patient and respectful, but not messaging you, it's so difficult!!

How do you manage self care when you simply don't care? There's only one thing you want and that's not in your control.

God promised at the birth of time,
A special friend to give,
His time on earth is short, he said,
So love him while he lives.

It may be six or seven years,
Or twelve or then sixteen,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?

A wagging tail and cold wet nose,
And silken velvet ears,
A heart as big as all outdoors,
To love you through the years.

His puppy ways will gladden you,
And antics bring a smile,
As guardian or friend he will,
Be loyal all the while.

He'll bring his charms to grace your life,
And though his stay be brief,
When he's gone the memories,
Are solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But lessons only a dog can teach,
I want you each to learn.

Whatever love you give to him,
Returns in triple measure,
Follow his lead and gain a life,
Brim full of simple pleasure.

Enjoy each day as it comes,
Allow your heart to guide,
Be loyal and steadfast in love,
As the dog there by your side.

Now will you give him all your love,
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call,
To take him back again?

I fancy each of us would say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done,
For all the joy this dog shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.

"We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.

"But shall the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand."

*2 tablespoons melted butter
*1 can refrigerated cinnamon rolls (could probably use frozen also) with icing
*3 large eggs
*1/2 cup heavy cream (half and half or whole milk)
*1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
*1 teaspoon vanilla extract
*1/2 cup maple syrup
*1/4 cup chopped pecans, optional

1. Preheat oven to 375°F.
2. Put melted butter in bottom of 8x8 baking pan, spread it around.
3. Cut each cinnamon roll into 8 pieces and toss in the pan over the butter, covering most spaces.
4. If using pecans, sprinkle those on top of the cinnamon rolls.
5. In a bowl, whisk together the eggs, cream or milk, vanilla and cinnamon. Pour mixture over cinnamon rolls, covering them.
6. Drizzle syrup over the top.
7. Bake 25-30 minutes, egg mixture should be set.
8. Remove from the oven and drizzle the icing over the top (make more if desired), drizzle with more syrup if desired.

*I added a 1/2 teaspoon of ground ginger and 1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg to the egg mixture.

*extra icing/glaze*
~1/2 cup powdered/confectioners sugar
~1 tablespoon milk or half & half
~1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Mix together with the amount from the store bought cinnamon rolls and drizzle on top.

For the cake:

3 cups All-Purpose Flour, sifted
2 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon all spice
1 1/3 cups vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 3/4 cups very ripe bananas, mashed (about 4 med-large bananas)
2 cups toasted chopped pecans, divided in half
1 8-ounce can crushed pineapple, undrained

For the Frosting:
1 cup butter, softened
6 cups powdered sugar, sifted
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
2 8-ounce bricks of cream cheese, cut into 1-ounce pieces and chilled.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour 3 9-inch round cake pans.
2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and allspice.
3. Add vegetable oil, eggs and vanilla. Stir just until dry ingredients are moistened.
4. Stir in bananas, 1 cup pecans and the pineapple just until evenly mixed.
5. Divide batter evenly into the 3 cake pans. Place in oven and bake for 25-28 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pans for 10 minutes and then remove to wire racks to cool completely.
6. To make the frosting, use an electric mixer to beat together the butter and powdered sugar, adding powdered sugar gradually. Add vanilla extract and salt, mix until smooth.
7. With the mixer on medium, add 1 piece of cream cheese at a time. Turn the mixer off once all of the cream cheese has been incorporated.
8. Spread the frosting between layers of cake and cover the sides and top. Sprinkle remaining chopped pecans on top.

P.S. I made mine into cupcakes. I'm a timer person, so I timed them for 10 minutes and then turned them around and baked them another 10 minutes. Also, the cream cheese icing was not "smooth" for me until after I started getting the cream cheese blended in.

My breakdown is fairly simple:

Preheat oven to 350?F

Mix together:

4 eggs
1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar

Once those the are combined and smooth, add in:

3/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
16 ounces peanut butter (creamy or crunchy)
5 tablespoons butter at room temperature

Combine until creamy and smooth. Next add in:

2 1/2 teaspoons baking soda, sift out lumps
5 cups (18 ounces) Old Fashioned Oats

Mix well. Finally add in:

1 cup m&m's
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate baking chips
1/2 cup peanut butter baking chips.

Once everything is combined, spread mixture out evenly on a greased 1/2 sheet baking pan. Bake for 18-22 minutes or until it starts turning a golden brown. Remove and let them cool a bit before cutting. Enjoy.

P.S. You can change up the m&m's, I used the caramel ones this round and oh my goodness!

Just the other night I had come across this one story about a man and his dog, except the story was written from the dog's perspective.

I felt inclined to share this here because of seeing Kelly's status posts of having to put her sick dog to sleep

I know many know how much it hurts to lose a beloved pet, I've been there a few times myself...and it never gets easier.

So here is the link to the article of said story.

Do grab a tissue or two, you will need them if these kinds of stories tug at your heart strings...

[url]http://indianexpress.com/article/trending/trending-globally/this-dogs-last-letter-to-his-person-will-surely-make-you-tear-up/[/url]

Here's what I'm going to get one day soon!! Just have to pick where it's gonna go and where I'm going to have it done (2 places here).

The date will change to 9-23-14, the day my oldest brother passed away. Today has also been 46 weeks to the day of his passing.

Ingredients:
2 cups shredded cooked chicken
2 cups shredded Mexican cheese blend, divided in half
1 (10 oz) can of Cream of Chicken soup
1/2 cup Milk
1/2 cup Sour Cream
1 can Ro-Tel Tomatoes, drained
1/2 packet of dry Taco Seasoning
I bag Doritos
Shredded Lettuce (optional)
Diced Tomatoes (optional)

Directions:
1) Preheat to 350*F.
2) In a large bowl, mix together the shredded chicken, 1 cup of cheese, cream of chicken soup, milk, sour cream, ro-tel tomatoes and taco seasoning, mix well.
3)Grease a 2-quart casserole dish, spread a layer of crushed Doritos on the bottom. Top with a layer of the chicken mixture. Add another layer of crushed Doritos then more of the chicken mixture. Top it off with remaining cheese and more crushed Doritos if desired.
4) Cover and place in the oven, bake at 350*F for 25-30 minutes, until bubbling hot. Remove from the oven and top with lettuce and tomato if desired.

Yields: 4 servings

*Note*
I don't use packaged Taco Seasoning, I used Garlic and Onion Powder, Ground Cumin, Paprika and Chili Powder.

Also, this time I put the chips on top of the cheese, next time I'll try to remember to put the cheese on top of the chips!!

Oh, and I ended up using Taco flavored Doritos as the store was out of Nacho.

Next time I want to try a mixture of Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese!!

The Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!


~Author Unknown~

So the dragonfly symbolizes the spirit of loved ones who have passed on. I firmly believe in the spirit world.

43 weeks ago today, 10 months on Thursday, my oldest brother passed away that the age of 39 from and aortic aneurysm that dissected between his heart and abdomen.

That Friday after he passed away, he came home. He sat on the frame of the door for about 2 hours, long enough for all of us to see him, long enough for the hubby and I to get up and go out to see him. He then moved on, to the rest of the family I believe. That same morning another dragonfly landed on my youngest niece's shoulder. Since he passed away, we see dragonflies more often.

We used the dragonfly story on his remembrance cards.

He is always with us in subtle little ways and we will never forget him.