Profile of jake5270 - AmateurCool

jake5270

Laid-back, easy going guy until my passions are aroused. I've been here 3 other times... I keep trying to get it right, I guess. lol

72 years old
Male
Joined 11 years ago
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jake5270's Blog

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Monday, November 25, 2024, 7:24:38 PM- Take that!

A small country church was full on Sunday morning.

People were chatting with each other when suddenly

the devil walked in.

Everyone got up and ran for the front door, screaming in terror,

except for one elderly gentleman.

The devil walked up to him and said:

"Don't you know who I am?"

The elderly man replied "Of course I do."

The devil asked him if he was frightened.

"Of course not."

A little offended, he asked "Why not?"

The old man looked at him and said...

"Why should I be? I've been married to your sister for over 50 years."

~

Sunday, November 24, 2024, 6:52:21 PM- Worth repeating

With the advancement of AI and all of the 'fakery' it inspires,

I am reminded of a quote:

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

Edgar Allen Poe

~

Saturday, November 23, 2024, 10:07:42 PM- Oopsie

I did something today I haven't done since I was a kid -

I fell out of bed.

To be fair, I used to fall out because I tossed and turned so much in my sleep.

Today

it was because I was reaching for the t.v. remote I had dropped on the floor.

~

Friday, November 22, 2024, 8:13:28 PM- More numbers

You can defeat 40 smart people with one fact,

but 40 facts won't defeat one idiot.

~

Thursday, November 21, 2024, 7:20:04 PM- Numbers

This morning we had an inch of snow, with another inch predicted for late afternoon/evening.

As a child, I was told the 'old wives tale' said that the date of your first measurable snow was how many snows you would have that season.

Today is the 21st, so

one down, 20 more to go???

~

Wednesday, November 20, 2024, 7:23:16 PM- The race is on

I watched the weather report on the local news program at noon today.

They're predicting somewhere around 2" of snow for Thursday here,

so I'm thinking of driving to the grocery store just to watch people grabbing

milk, bread and toilet paper.

~

Tuesday, November 19, 2024, 7:57:15 PM- 3

What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and a frozen beer have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull them out in time.

~

Monday, November 18, 2024, 7:23:03 PM- Something you didn't know, maybe

As it turns out,

as an adult you CAN eat chocolate cake for breakfast.

There is absolutely no one policing this.

~

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"Nutella on toasts with coffee,,,woho"- Artistic

Sunday, November 17, 2024, 5:08:33 PM- Everything is not coming up roses

An old lady goes to see a doctor.

She tells him "I fart all the time, but they're silent and they don't smell.

in fact, I've farted about 15 times since I've been here."

The doctor gives her some pills to take and tells her to come back in a week.

When she returns, she says " My farts are still silent, but boy! do they stink!"

The doctor says "Great! Now that we've cleared your sinuses, we can work on your hearing."

~

Saturday, November 16, 2024, 6:33:10 PM- Not even

Hired a handyman and gave him a list.

When I got home only items 1, 3, and 5 were done.

It seems he only does odd jobs.

~

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Most Recent Comment:
"🤣🤣"- Artistic

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