I have not been me for a while now. I am really getting depressed with myself and life . I am not happy with who I am and I am not happy with my life right now. I know people say life is what you make of it but right now I'm not feeling like making anything with my life right now.Also been fighting a cold the past 2 weeks that I can't seem to get rid of. It is from me feeling this way? Is it really a cold I can't seem to get rid of? I'm not sure but at this point I really am not caring much about it. My premium is starting to end here pretty soon (less than a month left) and thinking maybe it is a sign of my time to leave (delete). I'm not sure right now cause I do love to lurk and look at pics but then again sometimes some pics I see make my even more disappointed in myself like when I see how certain guys get all the votes (a lot deservely so) but still get down on myself and tell myself I am nothing for not looking like that and then I start deleting pics and say to myself that I will never post another again. People also don't like to hear me say stuff like this (putting myself down) and are tired of me being and talking so negative. To them all I can say it I'm very sorry for this but I can't help that this is an ongoing struggle with me. I wish I could like myself better and feel better about myself but right now and for a while now have not been feeling or been myself at all right now. I am not having fun here and I'm not making it fun for anybody else here. All is know is that right now all I wanna do is work cause I have to to pay the bills and then lay around and all I wanna seem to do is sleep. I really just feel like sleeping my life away right now. :/
So seriously pondering deleting cause I know everyone is just getting tired of me. Also I feel like people just seem better off without me in their life and are just a lot more happier in general so I just wanna stay outta there way. I will have to see when my premium runs out and see if I want or feel to renew. Other part of me says maybe I just need a LONG LONG break from here and just figure out what's wrong with me and try and get back to being the person I was when I was here for the first year or so.
So these are my thoughts at the moment, I will have too see what happens. Again apologies to anyone that has heard me be negative and put up with that. You don't deserve it and I really need to work on me, how long it will take I'm not sure.
see ya around?....maybe or maybe not. You may see a comment on a pic or 2 from me here or there from time to time but that's gonna be it for now.
Love you all my friends
xoxo
