BBWdreamgirl's blog post - Yawn

It's almost 1 in the morning and I should be sleeping...yet another sleepless night for me. The fact that I can only sleep 2 to 4 hours a night should worry me. Yet I've lived this way for so many years it's become normal. My Drs see things differently and have tried to give me many pill that are guaranteed to knock me out. So far nothing has worked.
My mind never shuts off. It is always turning and thinking and pretty much getting me into some sort of worked up state. Oh no I have not talked to this person in five minutes they must hate me. Or I saw you online.. why didn't you say hello are you avoiding me. Yes I know it is nuts. I know these things stem from lack of sleep. Just wish everyone else did too. So they could hand me a Snickers and tell me to xxxxxxxx out of it.
I should be sleeping or if not sleeping at least in chat goofing off with the amazing people who are chatting there. Yet I am not drawn there tonight. Tonight I feel alone. I know I should not with everyone here. But it's a different kind of alone. The deep down is my soul even part of my body alone. Mind numbing at times. To reach out in the night to find no one there. The person you most rely on can not save you. At least not without drowning themselves.
Only 6 more hours and it will be daylight. I can do it. I do it every single night of my life. This is just another night... Just another night.