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Mmacloy81
Member Since: 23-Feb-23
Location: GB
Posts: 4
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Sex life with wife got better after she found out about my affair
26-Nov-24 13:04
Hello everybody

I thought I'd share my story as some of you might relate to it.
I've been married for about 20 years. Our sex life got boring over time with the different challenges of having 2 kids, work etc.
I've always considered my wife not very sexual and not willing to try too many things. She often refused me sex, looked bored and unhappy so, so I gradually started looking elsewhere including on this site.
I gradually became more sexual in my mind, started developing fantasies...
At one stage, I met somebody at work and it developed into an affair. The new woman was very sexual and we did everything you can think of. It was like a dream.
Until my wife found out.......
Eventually, I came clean and to my surprise, my wife changed a lot. She forgave me and we became closer and closer. The sex became amazing, we started talking about it a lot more openly. My wife became a better version of my lover sexually. She's insatiable, Does anal, loves sucking me and swallowing it all, almost addicted to it.
I have different theories about why it happened that way. Maybe my wife is challenged now and her ego was hurt, maybe she is jealous and wants to prove she's better than the other woman, she wants validation.
I'm very happy about it and I don't even think about affairs anymore. I realized there is nothing better than having a close relationship at home and being honest about your desires.
I am not proud of my affair, but I think it saved my marriage. I think you need a shock sometimes to change things. It doesn't need to be an affair, but a different approach can change things.
Also, I realized that my wife is a lot naughtier than I thought. I wonder how many people don't show their true faces to their loved ones and have secret desires and fantasies.

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Artistic
Member Since: 8-Aug-05
Location: SE
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26-Nov-24 19:33
so because of your cheating, you communicated, and that actually worked,
Go figure...

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Mmacloy81
Member Since: 23-Feb-23
Location: GB
Posts: 4
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27-Nov-24 09:43
I think that for people to change, they sometimes need a big shock. We are creatures of habit and prejudice. If there is nothing major happening, it's easier to carry on with what you are used to.
I don't recommend cheating, it's much better to communicate first...but it worked in my case


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sam8688
Member Since: 20-Apr-07
Location: US
Posts: 81
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sex got better
27-Nov-24 13:29
for my 2 cents worth, when we started the swing lifestyle, our sex life got way better with each other. We were able to bring to our bed things we learned from other people. You only know what your know, and you don't know what your don't know.

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jdcoo3
Member Since: 29-Apr-11
Location: CA
Posts: 103
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Her turn
27-Nov-24 14:40
HOPEFULLY SHE GETS A CHANCE TO ENJOY A FEW FANTASIES OF HER OWN thumbup thumbup

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theroyalcouple
Member Since: 13-Mar-16
Location: AU
Posts: 2494
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28-Nov-24 03:33
Dude. All this means is your wife has been having affairs for ages and now she doesn't need to feel guilty anymore.

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Mmacloy81
Member Since: 23-Feb-23
Location: GB
Posts: 4
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28-Nov-24 09:20
It's possible she's had affairs before. I know these things don't go one way only and it's naïve to think that only you can be unfaithful.
But the bottom line is that an affair is a sign of problems in the marriage and being open and honest can revive it. Sometimes it doesn't matter what are the means as long as the result is the desired one....
Equally, the discovery of an affair can mean the end of the marriage. and maybe the marriage wasn't good and people were not compatible. People often make the wrong choices when they get married and they try to fix them for years.

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milfchaser
Member Since: 12-Oct-13
Location: US
Posts: 1632
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30-Nov-24 23:44
Mmacloy81 said: I think that for people to change, they sometimes need a big shock. We are creatures of habit and prejudice. If there is nothing major happening, it's easier to carry on with what you are used to.
I don't recommend cheating, it's much better to communicate first...but it worked in my case



From whatever information you have given us it sounds like you were attempting sexual communication for a while and she kept refusing.

Hard to bust through that.

I'm glad to hear it worked out for you. Marriages need good healthy sex lives.

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Inflate_n_Enjoy
Member Since: 5-Nov-20
Location: AU
Posts: 4
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4-Dec-24 07:32
Why don't you just ask your wife?

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Mmacloy81
Member Since: 23-Feb-23
Location: GB
Posts: 4
Forum Level:
Just getting started
4-Dec-24 10:01
Inflate_n_Enjoy said: Why don't you just ask your wife?

I did
The communication is still difficult and I think I'll get the full truth gradually. She wouldn't want to tell me that the affair was a good thing. It's more about the principle that a shocking moment was needed for things to change. If it wasn't an affair it may have been a separation etc. But people don't change when the routine is the same. But the affair provoked different feelings too: jealousy, competition , reevaluation of the status quo. People often take their partners for granted and don't make efforts

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