Today I woke up feeling calm.  The overwhelming feelings that I’ve had recently, started to leave my mind.  
I slept well.  Even today throughout the day,I felt easy going.  

When I got to work I had noticed that Sir had written a few things, I always love reading his writings.  

I found myself tearing up as I read…..As I finished reading, he messaged me.  Commenting that he saw that I had been reading his comments,and if I was horny.

They were arousing, reminding me of some of the edging sessions I have had,thinking about him lying beside me, whispering in my ear, or watching me from across the room as I edged for him.

But the tears came, because of how I realized how much I have let things affect me in my tasks.  

I have let outside things come into our world, and disrupt it.  

All for what, to make myself feel comfortable.  And what has it done, it has made our world turn a bit sideways.

I spoke of the calm I was seeking, I’ve realized the calm I have been seeking has been standing in front of me the entire time, 6’ 3” devilishly handsome, amazing smile and personality, caring, nurturing, intelligent, devoted.  

He is my calm.  No matter how I feel, when I hear the chime of his message come through it absolutely relaxes me.  I feel it from my head to my toes.  And seeing that message “Hi kitten” gives me goosebumps every time I read it.

I have bared all of my soul to him, he’s seen me at my absolute worst and still chooses me….And how have I repaid that, with my childish actions.  
I aim to better myself, if not,how can I be better for him and for my self.  

I want to be his calm,as he has said before, I was.  

My task for myself now, listen and learn,  he has so much he can teach me and I want to do better for him,  I need to be more open and receptive to those lessons, everything he does has a purpose.