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mate i'm 44yo and don't try and work it out there women , i ended my marriage last year i treated my x like a princess and she had everything didn't stop her from dropping her knickers for some old loser school friends for a "bit of fun" and didn't stop her from treating her kids and i like shit ! i give up women seem to think the grass is greener over the fence ! and loser's can normily talk the talk and women seem to love it ! don't beat yourself up over it i've done enough for everbody already !!!!!!!!!

Same happenings here too. I take things very personal and takes a long time to get over. I lost a great girlfriend a while ago, stayed friends and now I'm losing a great friendship for the same reasons.

find them, feel them, finger them, fuck them, forget them. words to live by

I have banged my head against the wall far to often about this. I have had numerous women friends over the years and have heard numerous complaints about their men, commonly called "assholes or caveman". More often than not I hear from them: "now why can't he give me compliments like you do", or "why doesn't he treat me like you do", I just want to grab them by the back of their hair and bang their head on the ground, and ask them why do you keep going after the same type of guy if you know they are going to hurt you?" But I know it would do no good. Perhaps it is one of lifes cruel jokes. I am attracted to the type of woman who is attracted to the asshole/caveman personality. These type of guys seem to have women flocking to them so in my opinon never needed to learn how to treat a woman, with love, respect and passion. I have even gotten in shit from one of these types of men because I opened the car door for her when I picked her up. Like duh dude, if you're pissed at me for doing something polite and repectful then why don't you do it? Basically feels like the defination of insanity, If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result, that's insanity. So changing who I am attracted to is the only sane solution, otherwise just accept that the women I am attracted to are looking for that caveman. That's the hard part I have yet to figure out how to change that. It sucks!!

Funny...I've been asking myself this question from the flip side for awhile now!!!

In fact had a conversation with a male friend about it the other day. From my point of view and in my experiences...men say they want an independent woman who has her act together financially and emotionally.
Yet here I am...divorced 6 years...I have a good job, nice house, car, money in the bank...I can take care of myself and I'm not an emotional basketcase...and can't find a good man.

The good men I know are all too busy chasing the women who make me embarrased to be a woman!!! They are emotional freakin wrecks who can't make a decision to save their lives...need a man in their life 24/7 for emotional and financial support...EXACTLY what the men I meet say they DON'T want.

Go figure.

So....don't feel alone in the way you feel...but try not to lump all women into the same category either because we aren't all that way. I'm hoping there's at least a few men out there...and ONE right one for me that actually does want a stable woman!

I want a stable women like you

I think you are still single because you are posting nude pictures online and you get that excitement out just on the internet yet you are alone in your apartment/house

do you feel bad posting these private pictures of yourself online for eveyone to see?

Nice

No, I absolutely don't feel bad for posting pics of myself online for everyone to see. Do you feel bad for looking at them?!?!

My photos here have nothing to do with my being single...I can't even figure out how that correlation makes sense?!

LOL You keep thinking and writing like that scootermax, you are making it much easier for the rest of us. Lol Thanks for the laugh!!

Agree and I do know women like yourself as well, basically it seems to be what we indiviually find attractive. For both sexes there are a few variables, men want to feel like the protector and provider so in the case of an independent woman, they are not going to feel needed I guess, I can't for the life of me figure out why they go for the, as you say freaking wrecks, it does baffle me, that however is not my choice in a woman thankfully, nor is the the one who holds onto all her past baggage. My guess for some women would be finding a man who is confident, but only insecure enough to know his weakness and deal with it, but not too insecure to be a mama's boy or wusey. Unfortunately, by being a "Nice Guy" some of the confindence is lost by appearence. Must be just one of lifes jokes I guess.

I too wonder about this.

Even when I was a teenager, I was respectful and romantic...and didn't get the girls, who always seemed to prefer the guys who treated them badly.

30+ years later I assumed women would grow out of that stage and actually appreciate a man who bought thoughtful presents, who cared, who listened, who sympathized, who treated them with respect, romance and passion. But alas, it seems little has changed. I don't want to pretend to be a thoughtless bastard, so I act like the good man I am. And for that I get ignored, taken for granted, and disrespected (never thought I'd use that term, but it fits).

I'd love to find a woman who likes being treated like a woman and not like a girl in high-school.

assholes rule

I have a female friend who ive looked out for & listened too when shes been in bad situations and like others they dont seem to learn & just go back to their loser friends...

So, although I have other "good" friends, why is it always 1 person who gets you down?.

Now I hardly text, talk, email her, she needs to learn she cannot rely on me, yet its also me whos going to lose her. Like others have said I hoped one day they realise but it hasnt happened in 12 years so im not expecting her to change. No matter how much I/we do its never enough they always seem to get on ok in life, meals out, nights out BUT with the wrong people imo, yet they always seem to be having fun???. Are they genuinly having fun or just going out to try to cover up their shit lives but dont want to admit it/change their ways?.

Would be interesting to read an opinion from a female(s) as well as lads. Cheers

I have a friend who has gotten herself in more than one physically abusive relationship and I just cant get in her head and understand why she falls for these guys when I know immediately after she tells me about them that they will treat her like shit.


I wish she believed more in HERSELF and that she was smart and funny and attractive then she could find a better class of guy but, the changes need to start within herself.

I have always been a "nice guy" and you are absolutely right it has gotten me laid less,less girlfriends etc but, now at 26 years old I finally found a girl who isnt about all that and we really want each other for good

I think the problem with being a nice guy is that we lack drama, and I've always suspected that some women get bored if there isn't enough drama. I've also considered that by being overly complimentary, the nice guy could be effectively nailing his own coffin. Every guy thinks his girl is the most beautiful girl in the world and rightly so, but by repeatedly telling someone this do they eventually start to believe it and consider you bellow their standards?

I think this might be more true for immature girls. I never liked assholes though, I don't care how hot he looked, if he was a prick I didn't want him touching me. I think the guys in the middle are undoubtedly the most attractive - I mean no one wants a doormat. Nice, but confident and strong.

The assholes get the women because women want to be the one that the asshole STOPS being an asshole for...

Long story short, women are attracted to powerful (or masterful) men/tough guys whom they hope to find sensitive in the end. But not to sensitive guys as such. How awkward!

--fantasm

I look at men I find attractive but I only let nice ones in my space. Maybe that is because I've grown up and no longer take crap.

I can't even believe this fucking post right now..... WOW. You are obviously extremely delusional and have ridiculous notions of the wonderful women on this site, who are free in expressing their sexuality both with and without partners. Freedom of sexual expression does not lead to a woman being socially dysfunctional in the same way your internet trolling seems to have made you.

you go

almost word for word from a gal I know who is attracted to the "thug"type of guy. They project an aura of power and toughness, I guess that could be attractive to a gal. Ironically , her boyfriend is in prison, rather than holding down a job, paying bills, raising a family and kids who won't go out and become criminals themselves. That takes real strength to be a family guy in this crazy world

I agree! There's a not-quite-natural barrier to overcome sometimes, but please persist: overcoming it, on ones own, or with the help of a new lover, is best for all involved!

Best wishes!

--fantasm

this is going to sound weird,and crazy but my husband just recently left me and our kids for some homewrecker homie hopper, i was everything he could dream was a lady and in the room i was a freak we would always climax at the same time looking into one anothers eyes. He would tell me Dont worrie your "dick" aint going anywhere and he left cuz times were hard money was tight instead of getting tighter and working together he bounced for this chick that he and another friend wree fucking way back when while her man (All 3 were friends)was locked up. and she wasnt going to leave her man so my ex stopped then it turned they broke up and she ended up marrying the other friend then he recently got thrown in prison and so at a weak time for him i guess she dove in and snatched him loured him with money and freedom, ive been completely lost confused and cant find my breath and he comes to visit far and few between anyways hes on here and i was wondering if you could send me a copy of the videos(possably by watching on pc while rec on phone camara,or if tech savvy you prob already know what programs to use) please i cant afford a pm account at the moment but if i could reimburse u in any way i would i just need closure and to know if these people are b4 me or during or even us, please

Kinda need to c it to believe it and it still feels like unreal ya know,and part if me wants to c what he looks like with someone else

ps his user name is gunitwhoop

Flashly thats ashley and his flashlight
My email address is flashly707@gmail.com im look me up

Not sure we will work this one out between us even if we keep this thread going for years

At school I found most girls never went for nice guys maybe because they wanted a bad guy for status, for the excitement or for the caveman in a time of young exploration?
I do remember being bewildered by the gorgeous girls in my year dating some proper tossers.

Interestingly many of these same guys are in dead end jobs, been in trouble with the law and generally achieving very little while the girls have settled down and had families with sensible guys in professional careers.

I always looked for the independent woman,discussed above, and it's worked perfectly for me/us.

Personally I think many people are far to superficial and materialistic in regard to potential partners which could be why so many relationships fail or never get started.

Mr FM

This is so true mate. Women think that guys who are pricks will stop being pricks just for them. The problem is, that this rarely happens. I know a girl who is friends with my wife. She is attractive, mid 20s, nice girl at heart, but she only goes for guys who have muscles and ink all over their body. She's been burnt a couple of times in the past and yet she continues to go dsown this path. Her life, her choice, but hopefully for her sakes she opens her eyes to the situation.

Women "do" want nice guys, but what they don't want is someone who's overly nice and constantly compliments them. I know, from making the same mistake (multiple times) and from being on the recieving end of over-affection. It's a balancing act that, while shouldn't be the hard, is sometimes really difficult for us "nice" people.

My solution, from my lesbian friend who heard me out once, is to stop thinking so much. It really is the key requirement/solution to most of my own problems, at least.

I used to belive what the OP is saying years ago when I wasn't so successful with women.

Just saying, the OP sounds entitled for a woman to like him solely for being "nice," but entitlement isn't really a nice thing at all. Being nice is morally correct but it takes more than just that to build attraction

Women LOVE ASSHOLES.

I treat women like ABSOLUTE SHIT and they can't get enough of me. I am a COMPLETE STUD.

I have HAD stupid women who just wont FUCK OFF even when I PISS ALL OVER THEM WHILE THEY ARE BITCHING AT ME!

I literally PISSED all over this WOMAN while she was in my face about me CHEATING ON HER ALL THE TIME!

I am THE man!

All women usually want a bad boy for a while. If you continue to let a woman cry on your shoulder (and the same thing happens to women to) she'll only come to you for a shoulder to cry on. Speaking as a woman, the bad boy is exciting, but the nice guy is nicer........but there is a difference between nice and "needy"/"clingy". Trust me the more you push any woman away and are less available for her to cry to about these bad boys........the more she'll desire YOU. This also works for women as well. Just don't be available.