how my marriage ended and certain events since. simply i dont really trust anybody anymore. not family, friends nor lovers, when it comes right down to the wire. everybody looks after their own ass. i spend a good portion of my life putting others first. what do i have to show for it all, the blood the tears the aching back. a apartment a mouse would call a shoe box and a cat (she's awesome). oh and the last thirty years of my life(should i be so lucky), to learn what most people learnt when they were twenty. trust lost is very rarely found. when love dies it is gone.