Hey everyone,

I wanted to share something new that’s developing between me and my wife, and hopefully hear from people — especially women and couples — who’ve explored anything similar.

We’ve been married for years, have kids, busy jobs, and the usual exhaustion that modern life brings. She’s naturally more romantic and connection-focused, and I’ve always had a higher drive and a love for exploring kink. For a long time I didn’t communicate things well, and she didn’t always express her hesitations, so we avoided a lot of conversations we probably should’ve had earlier.

Recently I introduced the idea of chastity — not as a fetish or a demand, but as a way to:

• calm my mind
• redirect sexual energy into being more present for her
• stop impulsive habits
• build anticipation
• let her choose the pace of intimacy
• help her feel desired, confident, and in control without pressure

I explained it gently, wrote out my reasons, and made it clear that she doesn’t need to “perform” or suddenly become dominant. Just knowing she has the choice is enough.

✅ How I introduced it

I put real thought into explaining:

it’s not about punishment

it’s not about being a “sissy” (a fear she had)

it’s not about replacing normal intimacy

it’s not a demand on her time

it’s symbolic and grounding for me

she stays in control only if she chooses


I made sure she had the key and could ignore the whole thing if she wanted.

✅ What surprised both of us

Over the first three days:

Day 1:
I wore it to work. Felt focused, weirdly calm. My mind wasn’t jumping to porn or quick relief.
She came home exhausted, and instead of expecting sex, I just cared for her.
She didn’t do anything with the key — and that was fine.

Day 2:
We talked more deeply than usual. She said she’d never been “in control like that” before and wasn’t sure what to do.
I told her she doesn’t need to do anything — just enjoy the freedom of not being pressured.

Day 3:
She surprised me by telling me to come upstairs after her shower.
She told me to get undressed and then she initiated sex.
It wasn’t planned or “kinky” — just natural, intimate, and honestly one of the best times we’ve had in months.

✅ What I’ve discovered about myself

These are my real motivations, now that I’ve lived it a bit:

• Control & focus:
It genuinely calms my mind.

• Psychological relief:
I like giving her the option to lead, even gently.

• Erotic tension:
The anticipation is powerful, in a good way.

• Identity:
I enjoy exploring roles without losing who I am.

• Devotion & commitment:
I want all my orgasms to be connected to her, not random impulses.

✅ What I want advice on

For anyone who’s done this — especially wives/partners — I’d love to hear:

1. What helped you feel comfortable having the “power” without feeling pressured to act dominant?


2. How did you navigate days when you were exhausted and just wanted normal closeness?


3. Are there subtle ways a wife can explore confidence without it turning into a full “domme” role?


4. Did chastity change the emotional connection for you as a couple?


5. Any tips for keeping it healthy, balanced, and not letting it take over the relationship?



We’re not looking for anything extreme — just building communication, confidence, and intimacy in a way that works for us.

Thanks to anyone who shares.
We’re just trying to grow together, and I’d love to learn from people who’ve walked this path.